Aftermath : Case Closed?
Visitor's Question from a 31-40 year old Male
Hello Again George,
There has been some activity since the last time I have posted here.
August 5th, I was at the church all morning because I have a spiritual growth class I'm taking and I also had to play bass with the praise team. Afterwards, while chatting in the lobby, her mother approaches me. She hugs me and says " How are you? I really miss you. " She is such a sweetheart. :) I replied the same and then said. "I'm glad YOU miss me." She didn't respond, but she gave me this look which I couldnt really decipher. Almost as if she wanted to tell me something. The Ex called 5 days later on friday and I didnt answer.
The following week on Monday my ex and I left for work at about the same time and she ended up speeding past me on one of the main roads. The next day the same thing kinda happened but we were on opposite sides of the street. Moments later I get a phonecall. " Hey, was that you on Gratiot Avenue the past couple of days? " She knew it was me the entire time. But I responded as if I never seen her.
" Um, I dont think so? I did just turn off that street."
So casual conversation starts and there is no talk of boyfriends/girlfriends or our past. We chatted for a few and then I told her I had to go bcuz I had go to work.
Then she hits me with the same question as b4. " Are you upset with me?" No, not at all.
"Good, because I just wanna say that I think that you are wonderful"
Then the conversation ends with " Have a nice day "
That was about 10 days ago. Still has boyfriend and nothing happened after that.
The other interesting thing that has happened though over the past weekend was...
The have been hanging out with another ex-girlfriend.
We have always stayed in touch over the years. We were highschool sweethearts and dated for 6-7 years.
It wasnt until late last year that we had actually become strictly friends. What I mean is that, I have no desire or curiosity to be with this girl. When me and my last ex were dating I would sometimes wonder about her.
We are like Jerry and Elaine from Seinfeld now which is great. It's kinda odd bcuz I was hung up on her for a looong time and now that has past. The reason I bring this up is bcuz over the weekend I met up with her and her current BF to go to her cousins party. Her boyfriend seems like a cool guy. We chatted for a bit and got to know eachother. I then told him that if my friendship with her was gonna cause any problems then I would disappear. I told him that I respect their relationship and so on.
I cant believe how at ease I was!
So then this is where it gets weird. I start chatting with her mom inside the house and she tells me " I think that you are perfect and I always thought and hoped you would be my son-in-law. " Then she told me that my ex said " If I wasnt with current boyfriend I really think things would work out." ROFLMAO. I chased this girl for a long time. Now that I have absolutley no interest I get this???
I could never be with girl again bcuz it takes a certain type of personality to handle her and I am not that guy.
To summarize the above I have concluded that I am healing.
I dont know what the latest Ex is up to or thinking.
I feel the dynamics between her and I are changing and we are becoming more like strangers than friends.
I think about her everyday still, but then again she does live across the street. :/
I have come a long way in the past 6 months and proud to say that I have not rebounded and taken any hostages to make myself feel better or to forget the Ex. This could very well be my last post George. But then again, me and drama are great friends.
Thanks again for the support and great consultations.
Take Care Friend.
I am leaving for Aspen, Colorado in 2 days for 2 weeks and I cannot wait to get away! I think this will be good for my soul. Out of sight and out of mind.
I am a bit mixed up.
You say you are becoming strangers with your ex but on the other hand, she is showing signs of wanting to be very good friends or even more. You don't answer the phone when she calls which is a bad idea I think. She probably knows you are at home since she lives across the street. Perhaps that is why she asks if you are angry...that and the stand-offish way you reply to her (like at the airshow and Gratiot Ave.--by the way, I have been on a Gratiot Ave and perhaps you live in a town that starts with "A"?)
At any rate, you have come a long way in six months and I think she is starting to like you again. You could test the waters by asking her out for coffee or dinner. Then see what develops. Tell her you still think of her.
Have a great time in Aspen you will love it and be away from the "drama."
Good luck! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com