I can't understand him!?
Visitor's Question from a 16-20 year old Female
I've gone to school with this guy for 6 years and got to know him better in the last 2 when he starting texting me. I was having health problems and he was there to talk to. That was just for one summer and he was real sweet. Thats when I started to like him a lot. He was always a joker, prankster, and could make lies without a sweat. Poker face dude. I started to like like him when we text because he made sense in the way he spoke. Wise. He was different after school. But during seemed different. He seemed like he like a girl who was just mean nasty and rude. He told me once too that he liked my best friend but i never told her because he told me not to. If I would sit by a boy and speak to him he would stare and sometimes cut off my conversation with another boy. But he would get weird and act controlling and tell me what to do. He is the sort of dominating type. Then sometimes he'd b nice. Later our text and online conversation were always with me doing the talking and him just going 'yeah.'Short answers. I would run out of things to speak about because im not very good at making conversation. We would get into little fights about stupid junk that was meaningless. and if i tried to ignore him he would, text me, email me, or actually ask me bff if i was mad at him. Me not answering would bother him because I always would answer but sometimes hed make me mad so i didnt. I would never look for him even though i REALLY liked him deep down. I hate to be like a bother to people so i let them look for me. When we would text he would leave me hanging sometimes and not text back for a while or cut me short which bothered me. I just dont know if he cares for me. Im deeply in love with him and told him i liked him a lot too but he said he wasnt ready or something. I just dont think he likes me but sometimes i do. Im just confused. We used to text everyday and now its to the point where he doesnt text in weeks. I was mad because he was talking to that nasty girl that hates me so i havent replyed to him. He has lied to me about not talking to her and he gossips but i dont know if he does about me. I care for people very much and give my heart out. Ive given him gifts and helped him out in work and was always at his service. I just think that he took advantage and i feel very dumb for letting him do so. He always keeps eye contact but his eyes are so nice that i can only look at him for so little. I was wearing a cap one day and he told me to look at him because he thought i was laughing. I was shy. We like so much of the same stuff too. Hes younger than me and i dont go to school with him anymore because I graduated this year but my friend says that he asks if she talks to me a lot and these two don't talk. Please help me because I have a crush on him so bad that i cannot stop thinking about him every second! What should i do? Excuse the length... Im very sorry!
You are setting yourself up for a fall by crushing on him to the point where you think of him all the time.
It would be ok if he showed signs of liking you but he really doesn't seem to give you that impression. You described some bad characteristics that he has and they will end up biting you in the end.
One important thing for you two to do is to build trust and honesty. Neither of you is particularly open and texting is not the way to get very close to some one. Spend more time in person or on the phone get to know each other.
Tell him openly when you are mad at him and talk through the problem. Don't cut off communications as you have been doing.
Trust, openness, and honest: give these a real hard try because they are very important.
Good luck! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com