I MESSED UP AND WANT HIM BACK
Visitor's Question from a 16-20 year old Female
Okay, I am 16 years old & my ex is 17 years old. We have gone out on and off for 2 years. We have broken up 4 times, the last time being about a month ago. Every time we have gone out, we have had the same problem - he hardly ever called me and this last time, seemed to have a real problem spending time with me but had time for everything else. I was feeling extremely lonely and we had an argument where he yelled at me and called me stupid. He then said "I have nothing more to say to you" and hung up on me. When I tried to call him back, he would not answer his phone. The night before the argument, we were supposed to do something and he completely forgot about me. He brought my cell phone over to me (I had left it in his car a couple of days before) and when I mentioned to him that I thought we were going to hang out, he acted like he knew nothing about it. He said that he had just been hanging out with some friends and was getting ready to go to a movie with some other friends. He did not even try to change his plans or invite me to go along. Later that evening, I tried to call him and his mom answered the phone and said "Oh, I thought you went to the movie with them".. I felt like a total fool.
Any way, the night after the argument, after my ex did not call me back to apologize or anything, I went to a party with my friends. There was a really cute, nice guy there and we kind of hooked up (just kissed). It lasted for about 5 minutes when reality struck home and I stopped. I felt so bad and called my then boy friend and told him what I had done. He was so sweet and understanding and came to pick me up and said that he forgave me.
After that, though, for the next 2 weeks, he seemed to have even less time for me and rarely called. It just went down hill. He even called me a "bipolar B___h and a slut, which I definitely am not. I know that I really hurt him and that no one deserves to be cheated on, but I wasn't even sure that he still wanted me after the way he treated me and talked to me.
Any way, we ended up breaking up. I was the one to actually do it but he wanted it, too, because he said he just couldn't get over my cheating on him. He still loves me and says that he wants to "be with me, just not be going out with me". He said that he can't commit to anything right now but he still wants to act like my boy friend.
Should I deal with this? I love him with all my heart but I am so confused. I made one mistake in all the time we have been together and he has made hundreds of mistakes and I always forgive him. Most people laugh when I tell them what I did because he has treated me horribly in the past and they don't even know why I always go back to him.
It really sounds like he isn't interested in you anymore.
He is ignoring you and went out to the movies without you. That tells the whole story right there.
And, he sounds very confused when he tells you that he loves you. But then he says he wants to "be with you, just not be going our with you." What could that possibly mean?
You let him get by with hundreds of mistakes and he won't forgive you for one small slip.
He has treated you horribly in the past.
What does this all add up to... you should bite the bullet and let this break up be the last one. You can't live a life where breakups happen so often.
There are plenty of guys out there waiting for you to be free.
Good luck! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com