Many problems tangled into one
Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Female
So there's this guy (a year or two older than me) that is the leader of the section I'm on for the school's marching band's drumline. At first I felt comfortable around him and was myself w/him until I noticed he seemed to be comfortable around me (i.e. talking to the whole group but mainly looking at me, complimenting me, and talking with the group I'm talking in after I finish saying something). Well, it's not like it's a bad thing if he does, but then it is. Because I'm the sort of girl that boys would rather tease and play around w/me than crush on me, the thought of someone that's decent in looks and mannerisms might be attracted to me was attractive to me. But my problem is that I feel free to be bubbly and playful w/boys that I'm merely friends with, but if it's a guy that I feel attracted to then I feel suddenly shy, and whenever I try to be myself around him I do it in a rather awkward way.
First of all, do you think this guy liked me? Second, how much do you think I like him back? I mean, I don't know him too well, and it's nothing I think about night and day, but I feel a slight attraction to his looks and mannerisms and politely-joking personality. Third, having been through a similar, if not - worse - problem with another guy that I had this huge thing for in the past, how can I learn not to try to impress the guy and therefore look like a total idiot when I do, and how can I learn to be myself around someone I'm attracted to or maybe even like? And fourth - do you think this guy (or any guy down the road) would be willing to give me a chance to be myself again even if I had acted like a dork around him for a long period of time? Would they be willing to forget about the shy, awkward, clumsy girl that I've acted around them for a few weeks (or maybe even a couple years) and accept the real me once I gain the courage to show them who the real me is?
This isn't a question that I've been crying over lately. But it would be really nice to learn from this before I turn sixteen, because once I turn sixteen I can date, and I want a fun, unregrettable dating experience.
1. It seems like he has a slight interest in you at least.
2. It doesn't seem that you like him back very much but some.
3. This is a hard one. You are nervous when you are around someone you like. Try pretending to yourself that you don't like them and act more normally. Also, you can ask him out if you want to.
4. Most people will give others another chance, especially when their behavior changes for the good. Work hard on improving your personality and you will have no troubles.
Everyone is nervous a little bit, so you might feel better and more relaxed knowing that you are one of many who are nervous.
Good luck! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com