Why my ex won't do the right thing

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
Dear love advisor,

My boyfriend of 2 years and 11 month just broke up with me. He said he wasn't happy anymore and didn't feel the way he used to about me. I asked him if he was seeing someone he he said "no". He also gave me the lines of " I love you but I am IN love with you" and when asked if he still found me attractive he said "yes", but he was not as as attracted to me. During the course of the realtionship, I helped him with everything and found myself slowly becoming the "mommy", which he never fought to change, but would use as a reason (or excuse) as to why he didn't want to have sex with me.

My question really centers around money. Two years into the realtionship, he got himslef into credit card debt and was unemployed. I found out one day he was bouncing checks and the credit card companies were calling him. When Ia sked him what was wrong he would reply "the bank is screwing up my money". So finally I suggested to him (he never came to me) that I would help him figure the mess out. I helped him straighten out his finances and let him piggy back on my credit my opening a joing credit card. He was making regular payments, while I kept track of his money.

At the time he broke up with me, there was still a modest amount left on the joint credit card account. He told me he would have the money in a few days after the break up. Days went on, no word. He did finally call me to tell me he would have the money a week ago. A week has passed, still nothing. I sent him a text message stating that if he truly wanted a clean break, he should just get me the money just to get it over with. In the meantime, I have closed the account, but I won't be officially closed until the credit card company receives final payments. At this point,I refuse to pay for his debt, but I am afraid I may have to.

Why would he be delaying making the clean financial break from me, if he was so eager to move on?? Wouldn't he want me to stop contacting himand just go away? I am very confused. I have never been treated this way.

Please help if you can.


RomanceClass.com Advice
Pay off the card so you are done with that mess. Don't tell him.

Keep after him to pay you back. Tell him each time exactly how many dollar and cents he owes you so it is fresh in his mind. If you have to, say you will take his balance in reasonable payments.

He may just not have the money right now or he may be hoping you will pay the debt off for him. Keep the pressure on.

Good luck! George

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com

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