Internet Babe Jealousy

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
Please help me!!!!!!!! I can't control my feelings of jealousy when it comes to my boyfriend. He chats to girls a lot on the internet and they are quite intimate in the sense he calls them babe and hun and sweetheart always says goodbye saying loves ya xxxxxx.

He assures me over and over again that they are friends and he talks to everyone like that but i can't help but think otherwise. I was married to a guy who started chatting on the internet and as a result ended up having an affair for 6 months then the first bloke i trusted after that did exactly the same.

My boyfriend now is the most important relationship ive ever had. We were childhood sweethearts and got back together just over a year ago. Now we are engaged (I asked him tho) and my jealousy is seriously damaging our relationship.

How do i get past this?? Advice
I can definitely see your worry given your history. And it's hard to trust a third time in the exact situation that burned you twice before.

I do have advice on jealousy -

but I think the guy has to be understanding here. If you were a burn victim, he wouldn't be parading lit matches around in front of you, even if he normally enjoyed this as a pasttime. I don't think it's unreasonable to ask him to please just ease off on the net flirting for a while and have you guys focus on each other, to build that trust and connection. You're not asking him to become a hermit and never talk to others. You're just asking for a trust-building time where you guys concentrate on each other. Hopefully he shouldn't be so addicted to his net-flirtation that he can't be without it for a little while ...

-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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