How to recover from a mistake you made

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Male
Hey, My name is Spade, I'm 21 and I have been dealing with a problem for a while now.

For a long time I had issues trying to meet the right girl because of some things going on in my life. Finally after working alot with a therapist I got that all worked out, than I met my best friend.... things were great and I fell in love with her. We dated... She was the love of my life, but than something happened. Another friend who I trusted very much told me a very elaborate story of how at the time my girlfriend cheated on me. Well I did a dumb guy thing and got drunk and cheated on her. This of course lead to the end of our relationship. But being best friends our friendship returned, and we have remained best friends. I have forever felt guilty for what I did and still do. I can't get over this girl and still love her, but she loves another guy now. We have talked about her and I dating again, and her answer is along the lines of she doesn't know how she could trust me again. I don't know how to regain the trust without being given a chance, but I understand that she doesn't want to trust me for fear of getting hurt.

I know that this really just needs to be solved by communication, but where do I start? She knows I love her and it confuses her. So how do I continue the converstation we have had twice now, of maybe another chance.

~Spade Advice
She is in love with another man.

That makes it very difficult to accomplish what you are seeking.

You are asking to be given a second chance to get over your cheating. But, at the same time, you are asking her to cheat on the one she loves.

Since you are best friends, keep that relationship going and hope that one day she will be ready for someone new and that person could be you.

Good things are worth waiting for.

Good luck! George

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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