What to do..
Visitor's Question from a 16-20 year old Female
I've been with my ex for almost an year and a half...then he tells me that he's tired of the relationship. I'm not sure what he really meant by that.
I get a bunch of my friends to ask him why he broke up with me and he said he was tired of all that drama and what-not. I care about him so much and I miss him a lot...I told him that I changed, but then he just got so tired of me...saying he doesn't like me anymore and being cold and kind of mean towards me. I said I was ok with being friends, but just because we're friends, I still care about him, and I told him that.
But every time we're together in person, he's nice and he really shows he cares, I don't know what to do to get him back. I feel like I tried everything, I've read so many advice, and I feel like I have changed and learned from the relationship and if we were to get back together, I wouldn't make the same mistake twice. I told him that I was fine without him, and I could live my life normally, it's just that, I really love him and care about him...but I feel like I've tried everything and nothing works...how would I get him to change his mind and get back with me?
It isn't easy to get someone to change their mind about feelings.
Here are some ideas: be more communicative, more compassionate, more affectionate, and more attractive.
Communications is probably the most important aspect. Each person has to feel that the other considers them important enough to share information with and that they consider the other trustworthy of sharing info with.
Compassion is important too. Foster an environment in which you both feel comfortable sharing feelings. This is not just feelings for each other, but also how you feel about your family, friends, etc.
Affection is not too hard to do... smile, laugh, hug, compliment, etc.
Finally attractiveness takes more work and time. Pay attention to your physical presences: grooming, dress, hygiene, sometimes weight. Also work on your intellect: learn a new language, read a book, and show you are a thinking, intelligent person. Take part in new activities like join a volleyball league, drama club, singing group, etc. to show that you are an active lively person.
All these things, or some of them, may be the trigger that brings your ex back to you even if it might be gradually.
Good luck! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com