Absense Makes the Heart grow Fonder?
Visitor's Question from a 31-40 year old Female
My husband and I have been having been having problems this past month. He says he is not in love with me anymore. He has been staying away a lot and he wants to work things out but he thinks we should seperate for a little while.
I dont think that is what we need. I mean when we first got together we didn't stay apart to find love. The more time we spent the more the feelings grew. I know he has some feelings for me even if he is not in love with me.
Am I right in thinking that we need more time together instead of more time apart? He thinks that being apart will make him miss what we had. But I dont think that is what will work. Anything you can tell me will greatly be appreciated!!!
Forcing people to stay together when they're not happy together is a sure way to make them even less happy. But the solution isn't to stay apart. Staying apart from each other, as just about any long distance romance couple can tell you, makes your connection fade. It is really hard to maintain a long distance relationship. A relationship is built on shared memories and shared time together, not on absense.
So you need to find things you enjoy doing together, even if it means embarking together on new, shared hobbies. Learn to ride horses. Learn to shoot pool. Take a cooking course together. The possibilities are endless, but you both have to want it to work. If one of you has already thrown in the towel, it simply won't work, no matter how much the other person tries to push things along. You both must make a firm commitment to the years of history you have together.
-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com