Found what I'm looking for, but not satisfied

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
First I should start by saying I've dated a lot of older men, that are very romantic, attentive, and giving. I finally met someone my age that I can relate with, and we have been "committed" for 4 months now. We're in a good place now, he's a working professional, I am finishing my engineering degree, my parents adore him, and my cat is in love with him, we're ready for the real thing. I understand after 4 months you're a little past the romantic dates and more into the getting into an everyday, normal life routine with each other. But I miss the romancing, I miss the "wooing", and being chased. We spend almost everyday together, but haven't been on a real date in weeks... He doesn't even romance me to make love anymore. I like feeling this comfortable with him, but I don't want to feel like we've been married for years and he doesn't have to try anymore. We aren't even arguing anymore, we just accept how things are and go back to spending a normal, everyday day.. Am I crazy for not being happy here? It's what I could ever want, its great, but for some reason I'm not happy. I even have the experience where I lived with an older man for over a year, raised his kids, we were together for 2 years... So it cant possibly be that I'm afraid of commitment. Sorry for the russian novel but I'm stumped. Is it possible to not be satisfied once you found what you've been looking for? Advice
What you say makes complete sense.

As you pointed out, the romance phase dies out in some cases, probably most cases. You are not ready to give up romance yet and many never be. And, it depends on the guy too. If he is close to zero percent romantic most women would find that uncomfortable. Since he is an engineer, that may make him less romantic than most men... also the family he was raised in.

Whatever the reason, the obvious thing to do is to talk with him about it. If he cares about you he should make changes in his behavior. He may need some examples and some time. My advice is to give him another four months to improve to your satisfaction and if he doesn't and you don't have those good feelings, then let him go.

Good luck! George

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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