Between an old good friend and current boyfriend

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
Im going to be 25 yrs old soon. I had been in 4 relationships including the current one. Current one only had been in 6 months relationship but i do know my current loves and care for me alot more than my previous exs. But things are getting cold between us since back from our 2 person vacation and plus after a marriage of a recent close girl friend of mine. I dont seem to wanted to be with him that much as before all this happen.Maybe because our different views in where to built a family at and the chores he wants us to do.

Right from the start friends around me sense that im just hanging on to him because im afraid of being alone after breaking up with my 3rd ex. And it seems they are right.

My feelings for him seems to alter even more when i met an old friend of mine and which is also a very good guy friend of mine which i had known for almost 11years. i had crush on him since we know each other until 6years ago he revealed his feelings to me. But i rejected him that time coz i was too sudden for me. But when i told him, i like him as well after a few hours he revealed to me, he said he was just joking. Untill now i still have feelings for him.

This feelings still remains until now. I met this good guy friend of mine 3 weeks ago. And we started going out every week. But he does not know that i had a boyfriend. The reason i did not tell him its because the last time when i am with my 3rd boyfriend, once my good guy friends knows about it, he did not wanted even to meet me. So i hide the truth from him this time.

Before we actually going out together alone, i was actually asking him to join a gathering but he refuses but he said he would be willing to come out if it was just between me and him.Since we meet we had gone out 3 times. And we had chatted for hours daily and smsing each other everyday. He even drive all the way to a company which i ask him about the location, which was about 1/2hour journey from his work to tell me where exactly it is located. Besides that he even drove me to the company when i went over to meet him.We even went out for movie just the two of us.He even told me all this years he dont have any girlfriends before. But why is he telling me this when he said we are just good friends.I did even ask him whether can our good friends upgrade to something more? He just keep quiet.What does that means?

Now i am in a dilemma, i dont really know how my good friend feels for me. I like him alot but in the other hand i feel guilty going out on my boyfriend's back. What should i do. By the way, i dont have feelings anymore for my current boyfriend. My current boyfriend is a very nice person and kind. I am so afraid to break this to him as his first girlfriend did this to him as well. i am so afraid. But in the other hand i like to be with my 11yrs good guy friend. Is my good guy friend interested in me or just taking me as his good friends?

PLease help me.... Advice
I am sorry you are in this situation.

You don't like your current boyfriend and you are unsure whether your friend likes you.

My advice is to break up with your current boyfriend because this relationship is going nowhere. Also, by breaking up with him you can rid yourself of the guilt feelings you have by going behind his back.

Then concern yourself with your friend. Try to build up a stronger relationship by communicating more, sharing feelings, and being affectionate. Tell him you are "developing feelings" for him and find out how he feels. Hopefully he will reply that he likes you too.

Good luck! George

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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