Pining Over my Ex

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Male
Extreme differences???
I am 23 years old New zealander,
She is 28 year old Japanese.

She comes from a very rich Family,
I come from a very poor family.

I'm messy, Shes tidy, I'm noisy, She's quiet. ect ect.

We are totally different in SO many ways, too many to list. I recently went to Japan to marry her and it was a complete disaster. Everything that could be wrong was wrong.

We broke up not long after I got there and the day I left we realised we still deeply love eachother despite everything being the worst between us. But still we are broken up and I am back in NZ.

I met this other girl here in NZ and everything was perfect and we are very similar. But meeting her I realised that I still love and miss my ex very much and do not like to live without her.

What do you think???

Can you give me any advice? Advice
It's very easy to love an ideal and not be able to handle the reality. It sounds like this Japanese girl is one you can adore from afar but not one you can match well with in a normal day to day situation. But there is nothing in life that says you can only have one person you care about.

So accept that you really enjoy the thought of this Japanese girl, and what she represents. But also accept that it just doesn't work with her as a full time partner! That is what your local girl is for, to be the one there for you day in and day out, to share your life together with.

Most guys have female friends, most women have male friends. So the Japanese girl can remain a great friend of yours, that you talk with long distance.

-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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