Confused with this college cutie
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
I'm pretty naive and I've lived a sheltered and spoiled life. I've never had a boyfriend and I've dated only a handful of times. I figured that I'd forget guys for a while and focus on classes. But then I got a major crush on one of my new friends. After a year I decided that I'd tell him that I like him. Mainly because he kept telling me that he would ask out certain random girls if he had the nerve, and then he would glance at me for a response, which sort-of made me think that some other girl would get him if I didn't say anything. But then he told me that he didn't want a girlfriend right now and that we can hang out sometimes. Which made me partly wish that I never told him.
Before I told him how I felt, he would joke with me and say things that he claimed never to be able to tell to anyone else. But he'd only say "hi" around our friends. He would drive me home and make me ask him for a ride each time because he said he liked to get on my nerves. We went out to eat about once each month and even on valentines day (he says he forgot what day it was). I joked that we could call it a date, and he said I could if I wanted to. Then I swear we almost kissed once. we both reached for something and for a few seconds we just looked into each others eyes, when he half-closed his eyes I chickened out.
After I told him how I felt, I don't really know what happened, but he seemed to be distant, so I gave him more space. Then he complained and kept saying that I was mad at him, but I couldn't say why, so I just denied it. Then I made an effort to talk to him and he seemed happier and we kind-of got better. I started to feel comfortable being just friends. He helped me plan to go to a group vacation and we shared a hotel room with 4 other people. After that, with summer vacation and all, I didn't expect to see him much, and he messaged me saying that he wanted to go out and eat. For the first time in a while, we laughed, flirted, joked and talked about serious stuff. And this time I actually fixed my gaze with his when he occasionally stared into my eyes, instead of looking away.
I feel like I'm so immature, because I'm prone to act like a total kid and not do things like take the chance to kiss him, and I worry that this is why he doesn't want to risk getting with me. And yet he can totally be sweet and flirty and do other cute stuff to me, for me, and around me. I'd say that he's just a flirt, but there's only one other girl that he treats like me and he even told me that he isn't dating her, out of nowhere. She lives out of town. Any other girl is kind of blah to him.
I'd like to know where I stand with him or what he thinks of me but I'm too shy to bring it up again. The other day I nudged him for something and he turned and gave me the most sexy eyes and grin ever. I notice that our friends are starting to raise eyebrows at us sometimes.
He's completely confusing me and I keep thinking, "what does he want from me? Does he like me or am I over analyzing it?" And then I feel like I might be somehow confusing him, but at least I told him how I feel.
You told him how you felt, and he said he wanted to be friends.
And he is a very good friend at that. My advice is to continue things the way they are until you think it is time to tell him again. After all, he may change his mind.
Meanwhile, increase the body contact... he seems to like it and probably you do too. Hopefully you are already hugging, if not then start right away. Put your arm in his when you are walking along sometimes.
With time and effort you will probably get what you want.
Good luck! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com