Too late to get him back
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
I was dating my ex #2 for a year and half and he broke up with me. I started dating my ex #3, and at the same I was still seeing my ex #2. When my ex #3 and broke up, I started seeing my ex #1 (who I dated in high school), and at the same time I was still seeing my ex #2. My ex #2 would always tell me to stop talking to my ex #1, but I wouldn't listen. Ex #2 would give me a chance to get back with him but I never took that chance. At the time I didn't know who I wanted to be with. Until ex #1 got into a fight with ex #2. That's when I realized I wanted to be with ex #2. I stopped talking to ex #1 because I wanted to work things out with ex #2. It's been 10 months and I still want my ex #2 back. My ex #2 doesn't want to get back with me anymore. I know he doesn't love me anymore cause he told me. He just wants to be friends. He tells me that he doesn't trust me and its not worth getting back with me. I cheated on him twice and we weren't even in a relationship. I picked them over him. I try to work things out but he never wants to talk about the past. I understand that he's hurt. But I don't know what to do or say to get him back. Once in a while he would show me that he cares and he says he loves me and that gives me hope that he might get back with me. He says he's afraid of getting close to me. I met him in 2003 and its 2007 so that's about 4 years. How can I get him to trust me? I know its going take some time. Is there a chance that I can get him back? Sometimes I wonder if it's worth stay or should I just leave? I know that I don't want to leave but if he doesn't want me back what's the point in staying? It's been 10 months and I'm still here waiting for him. He knows how I feel. But sometimes I don't know how he feels. He given me so many chances to get back with him before and I guess I push him to the limit now he doesn't want me back. Is there any hope for me? I see him and talk to him almost everyday, but we aren't as close as we were anymore ever since that fight he got into with my ex #1. I don't know what to do anymore.
There are three very important aspects of a good relationship.
One is communications... talk with him sincerely and honestly about the facts of your lifes. Another is compassion... share your feelings with him and let him know that you care whenever you can. Last is affection... laugh at his jokes, smile at him, hug him, and make him feel good.
If you can honestly express those three things, he will gradually recognize that you are being honest with him and deserves his trust. This may take several or many more months, but something good is worth working for and waiting for.
Good luck! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com