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Let your love be like the misty rains, coming softly, but flooding the river. --Malagasy Proverb

We started as lovers, now we're good friends

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Male
I met this girl just over a year ago. We ended up taking an acting class together, and we both had the hots for each other. Finnally we united and it was like the spark hitting the match. We began a steady relationship, however both of us had been going through a hard time outside of the relationship and started taking things out on one another.

We decided it was best not to be together anymore. However we really haven't had much time apart, and in fact we've been doing plays together with different companies. As of late we've gone out for coffee and dancing on a few occasions but I've been trying my darndest to hold back my true feelings.

I am even more in love with this girl than ever before. And I've been waiting for the best time to say something, or do something physical to let her know.

It seems that what we were lacking in our relationship, which was the ability to get along and talk about just anything has been present now that we are just friends. Where as what we had to start with, romance has been lacking now.

Please let me now of anything I can do to let her know I want her back. Perhaps it's too late, its been 4 months since we were together, but in that time we've never really been seperated. And getting time away from another has been so hard because of our performances together, and we end up hanging out quite a bit.

RomanceClass.com Advice
It definitely sounds like you did things a bit backwards!! It's always best to have that strong friendship first and then move along, so you always have the ability to talk and handle issues and so on. By leaping into the romance side you had nothing to fall back on.

But now you have worked on the friendship part, which is great! And you have that stable base under you. So I would start sliding from friend into intimate again, just going slowly so you both know you aren't "risking" anything. That this is a normal progression that won't have you lose anything. I have suggestions here -


good luck!

-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com

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