My guy cheated then left me

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
i met this guy at my old job and we got this new job together. we started out as friends then eventually became lovers. he swept me off my feet. he made me feel secure enough to finally love only one person. but the my jealousy reared her ugly head. suspicions caused me to get in his voice mail and found out other girls were calling him. alot of other girls. when approached he denied it. i had the proof.

then one day i blew up when i heard his ex first crying about him being the one who ran around on her. mind you this ex still has access to his family and his situations. he told me he told her to leave him alone. and when we were exclusively invovled with each other she still use to call and he would tell her not too. she never gave up.

all of this and the funny confused suspicions caused us our breakup. we were going to try it but then again this lady was still there in the middle so i called her she told me all these other things - that she was the girl that was there in his marriage and will always be there because the family accepts her. but yet his mother knew about me. she knew he was staying with me a bit. she knew we were together but yet she stll wants to be here and she does not seem like shes going anywhere and he for some reason seems to be allowing it.

we broke we stated we were going to try and work on the friendship. but i still wish we were together and try and work this out. something deep down in my soul felt we were right for each other. i felt and still do feel like he my future husband. but now he hardly calls me. we used to speak everday just to hear each others voice. now nothing. and i don't really want to keep calling him and get him tired of me. but i still love and want to work out things with him. just tell me does this seem worth it. Advice
I know it hurts right now, being without him, but try to sit down and look at this objectively, as if you were watching a movie about something. This guy liked to you numerous times about other women. He wasn't dedicated to you - he was talking to MANY other women too and playing the field.

Next, you have an ex who confirms that this guy has ALWAYS been like this and cheated on her too. So it's not even that it's just you he decided to cheat on - it is an ingrained part of his life.

I really thing you deserve someone far better than him. It'll take you time to get over him. It'll be hard. But you'll soon find a guy who is wonderful to you, who you can trust, who cares for YOU and only YOU and who makes you feel special. When you are with this new guy, you will wonder how you possibly survived for so long with someone who treated you so poorly before.

-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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