Cant man work on together on distance-relationship in order to work it out?
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
Hi. I feel like im at the final of relationship that i need to get him or else my soul will b restless and regret and he wont met the right girl too.
This is how me and him felt but situation always test us. DISTANCE!
We 2 may b far but our love feeling is skin-deep. I always felt like he is with me and he felt same too.
One time i was praying to God to know where would this lead me too and in my dream i heard an answer saying 'My boy is not ready yet'
So I knew it is not time for me to b with Mr.Right.
One day as we were exchanging what inspired us to each other he told me something sooo ... i dont know how to describe.
He told me to quiet and he was listening to something and then he wrote to me what he heard...He heard the angel told him that 'I open the gate to heaven'
I knew that he too is inpired to love me as i said we 2 felt our soul although we have never b together in reality but always we felt like our soul touch each other skin and feel a little chill and light. Amazing isnt it. First time in my life i met such a guy.
so 1 day he is scared of losing me as i told him i cant get to his country. He got mad and told me to find another boy.
WHen he told me this and get a girl to speak a word to me on the phone. I knew instantly that he is doing this deliberately but not his intention. What i mean is he think HE has to hurt me and make me hate him so i could forget him.
So i retreat when i felt what he is up to by hurting. I respect him bcus i understand he still love me but he has to do this.
Then sometimes on and off, we felt each other and 1 day his mother passed away. He took the courage to let me know and confess to me that girl was his cousin. In my heart, i knew it. I knew exactly that that girl was his cousin. It i know everything even when he lies and he knows me the same way too.
He then felt very guilty for hurting me and i totally didnt feel that bad as he thought i would bcus the fact is whatever or however we hurt each other, the purpose is only for attention and we know we r not mean to each other and the truth is we could never hurt each other.
Now whenever he came online, i get tooo panic, excited, nervous, my heart-beat too fast etc.
He will send me a nudge or say hi and i couldnt reply a thing. Before i could relax, he sign out!
This is the problem now.
It happen too many time and i know that he needs me too all he need is my assurance but I became too weak just by seeing him online that i couldnt even reply. :( :(
May i know what m i suffering? Why his being 'online' itself panic me too much. And how could i control myself...When i calm down and he has already left and leaving him an offline message will make him feel that i am playing games with him.
I cant go on always leaving him offline message. It will hurt his trust on me.
So what should i do? The more i tell myself i wont repeat my mistake the more i repeat it. all because i cant control myself.
Is there a very good way i can tell him about my nervous towards him. I did let him know but the way i tell him about it sucks too.
Sorry for being -out-of-focus- at the end of this but this is how i m like when i think of him. I lost my steadiness!
You should see a professional psychologist to help you with your anxiety. Or even your regular doctor can prescribe a drug which might calm you down.
It's going to be very difficult to make progress with him if you are too nervous to even talk to him.
Try this... write down some things to talk about including how you miss him, what's happening in your life, ask what's happening in his life. Write about 15 different things to talk about and you won't be so anxious because you will be prepared.
You seem to have a level head about how he is acting and that is a sign that you can handle stress. So keep on trying to overcome this problem.
Good luck! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com