Hurt him now or hurt him later??
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
I have been with my boyfriend going on 6 months now. When we first met he told me that he and his wife (of two years) were in the middle of a divorce. which I accepted at the time because I'm a nuturer and figured I could be there for him. He also has a two-year-old daughter that he has joint custody of.
I am almost 22-years-old with no ex husbands or children. This is the first relationship I have ever been in with this situation.Someday I definitely want kids and a husband, so I of course accepted to try and date him and see where things went.
The past two months things have gone completely down hill with not only our relationship, but our own personal lives as well. He moved out of the house he was living in to live with his parents until he could afford his own place again. I lost my job and my apartment around the same time. I am currently sleeping on a friends couch or with him at his parents house (which is completely uncomfortable for me.) All of my belongings are in HIS storage unit.
I recently got a job which is going fantastic... this is the hard part for me: I feel we are in completely different places in our lives. him having been married, going through a divorce, and has a child. Opposed to me. trying to finish school, which is my only priority.
He told me the other day that all he wants is a family for his daughter. I did not respond because I just simply didn't know what to say to that. I am NOT ready to be a mom, wife, or stepmom right now. We have also been fighting almost everyday about small insignificant little things. I'm getting to the point I cant even stand to hear him speak at all! This is where i'm stuck.. He has helped me finacially...still is somewhat for another week or so, and all my things are at his house/storage unit. How do I tell him my feelings without all of these things crashing down on me??? I dont want to drag this relationship on because I dont want to hurt him longer than i have to. I care about him but I do not see a future with him. I dont have a clue as to tell him with our finacial things getting in the way.....I'm confused. please help. I dont want him to think am using him.
First off, he knows your financial situation and shouldn't judge your because of it.
Sooner or later you will be out of your financial jam and maybe you can pay him back some small part of what you owe him. You could tell him that.
It's better to tell him sooner or later that you don't see a future. It isn't fair to him or his daughter to drag this out. Not fair to you either.
Good luck! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com