Is my ex going to want me back when he breaks up with his new girlfriend?
Visitor's Question from a 16-20 year old Female
Okay, here's the deal. I had been dating my boyfriend for about two months when we started having sex. I should also probably mention I was only 16 and we lost our virginity to each other (I was convinced that I was completely and irrevocably in love with him)... so we decided that it would be fun to sneak out and do "it" in the back seat of my car in some random parking lot. Unfortunantly we picked a parking lot where apparently many other people decided to have sex at... that means that the police know about that parking lot quite well. Yeah we got caught. On top of it being the most embarasing moment of my life... Aso you can imagine my parents were pissed. My mom grounded me for a month. Therefore we could only talk on the phone. After about three weeks of me practicially having an emotional break down my mom said I could see him... but it had to be at a youth group. My ex is not religious and he hates church. I told him the good news assuming he would be happy. However he simply replied, "I hate church." I convinced him to go, appauled that I had to but he told me he was going to get drunk. WHAT??!! He hadn't seen me in weeks!!! Why would he ruin it by getting drunk?? Yes, he is an alchoholic (I never had seen him drunk before though) but he was incredibly sweet. And not the creepy clingy sweet, the I would do anything for you, you're way to good for me kind of sweet. At the church thing he seemed... distant. I talked to him on the phone that night and he was the same way. I thought it might have something to do with his friend (who happens to be a girl) but I quickly brushed those thoughts aside, as I am extremely trusting. I should have seen it coming though... she once called him while we were on the phone and he got off with the phone with me because she had a relaps. She is a meth addict!!!! And at his birthday she gave me dirty looks the whole time!! But I just blew it off. I'm so stupid for not seeing it. Anyway with just one week before I was ungrounded, we broke up. A mutual decision... or so he thinks. I think I agreed becuase I saw it coming and I just didn't want to be dumped. Anyway the next day his myspace said in a relationship... with that girl!!! As you can imagine I was distraught. Something must have been going on between them while we were dating right??? Why does he want her?? I'm so much better than her! I don't want to sound self-absorbed, but I'm smarter, prettier, sweeter, I mean I have a future... she's stupid and well she's not ugly but I'm pretty sure I'm better. So why did he leave me for her? It's been three months since we broke up! Why do I still care?? We haven't even talked since then. How do I get him back or how do I get over it?? I can't imagine being with anyone else... How can he just forget about me?
You are in a sad situation and I am sorry for that.
You mutually broke up, and he has a new girlfriend. This is difficult to deal with.
Try to make friends with him again and be your natural self. Perhaps the old romance will rekindle. It isn't uncommon for someone to fall back in love with their ex. Perhaps he will if he splits up with his new girlfriend.
Keep in mind that you don't want to be the cause of a break up, so keep your friendship as just that and don't try to seduce him. Trying to guess why he chose her over you is a useless effort... there is no telling what it was.
Good luck! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com