Is it really over?

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
Me and my boyfriend met in October of 2006. We live in the same country, just 900 miles apart. We knew from the beginning what we were getting into, as far as the distance. We talked on the phone every day, for 1-3 hours at a time. I would call him every morning, to give him a "wake-up call", and he called as often as he could while he as at work. The visits weren't as often as I or him would like, but they were incredible. Finally in January, he told me he loved me, and I felt it too. We talked about actually moving together, and discussed whether it would be me or him to relocate. I was open to both, and made it clear to him. His situation at his job wasn't the best, and he had only been in the city he's at for about 6 months, just relocated to take this job. I knew he wasn't certain as far his career, but I let him know that I would go wherever with him, wherever that may be. So that was in January, and neither of us pressed the issue too much, just concentrated more on planning our next visit. It seemed like fate was against us, whenever we would plan a weekend, something would come up at work with me, or we couldn't find a reasonable plane ticket with coordinating dates and prices. So we had Memorial Day weekend planned, and I was so looking forward to seeing him, it had been over 4 months. So anyway, last Wednesday night, before we hung up the phone, he had told me that time was getting near, he was getting ready to choose his personal life over his work and it wouldn't be long until we were together. That he knew he had a woman that would stand by him no matter what and he would never let me go. Then we said goodnight, love yous, and he quit calling! Finally yesterday, 5 days later, I got an email from him, telling he was sorry for neglecting me, and hurting me was not his intention. but there was too much going on in his personal life to focus on anything else. He went on to say that he was not 100% sure about his job and for him to move me there would be reckless and inconsiderate to me if he would choose not to stay and go back to where he was from. He said I deserved to have my COMPLETE life shared with someone, not just a silly hour a day phone relationship. He ended the email by saying please take good care, and I know you'll be just fine. I don't know what to do?? Do I call him? Do I fly there? I know he loves me, a person can't just change their feelings that fast. You either love someone or you don't. Does he just need space for a week or so? The hour a day we had on the phone was more personal and intimate than any physical relationship I could ever have. Please someone help me to figure out what to do. I can't just let him go like that. Please help!! Advice
You have no idea what's going on and neither do I.

Call him and find out what the problem is. Why didn't you contact him during those five days... the wake-up calls? It's up to you now.

It is way too early to wonder if it is over.

Good luck! George

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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