Betraying my Family's Trust

Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Female
Well you see i kinda snuck out with the guy i am dating and now my family hates him... how do i get them to stop hating him and accept him as the guy i love and want to be with? Thanks! Advice
All relationships - including family relationships - are based on honesty and trust. So if your guy has proven to the family that he is capable of deceit and has driven you to it too, you can see why they're upset!! What if you had a best friend and she deliberately got some friends of hers to cheat on their boyfriends for fun. Wouldn't the betrayed boyfriends be rather upset with her?

You two need to make a solid effort to prove your trustworthiness and dependability. Remember, your family is trying to look out for you. They dont' want you with a slimy cheater!! You need to help show them that you realize you made a HUGE mistake by violating the trust and code of rules in the house. That you won't do it again and that he won't encourage you to either. The rules exist for a reason and if you don't follow them, you are proving to your family actively through your actions that you can't be trusted. You can hardly blame them for reacting to a situation you caused yourself.

The more you show them you can be trusted, the more they will trust you. And the more they trust you, the more freedom you will have. But if you show them again that your boyfriend just does whatever he wants without worrying about the consequences, they will not be happy at all with the thought that one thing he is 'using' however he wants to is you.

-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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