should i break up with him?

Visitor's Question from a 16-20 year old Female
My boyfriend and i have been together for 3 years and have talked about moving in together. i love and care about him so much, but something just keeps telling me it's wrong to be with him. he has so many issues that are hard to overlook and haven't changed at all since we've been together. he can't keep a steady job, or handle money at all. he doesn't have a car or place of his own. he has some anger issues and takes a lot out on me just for helping. i do so much for him with nothing in return, like buy him things, drive to see him several times a week(and he never finds a way to see me), clean up after him(he is a complete slob by the way), do his laundry and try to help and encourage him in all the ways i can. i've also tried giving him some space to see if my interference is what the problem is, and he makes no progress in life. i feel like we just keep going around in circles. but i love him. i'm very sure of it. i just wish he could grow up and become responsible. i want to find someone else, but i'm very shy and it's hard for me to meet new people. i don't want to be alone, but i feel like loving him is hurting me and holding me back. and how can i know that every man won't treat me like this?
i somehow feel like i can have hope for us, but i think i'm just scared of letting him go. should i give up on him and move on, or should i stick it out and see if moving in together will help us? i have no other place to go since my mom is getting married and kicking me out. he's the only one i could move in with, but i can't let all these problems just keep happening. what should i do? Advice
Your boyfriend has made no progress in three years. He's not going to change just because you move in together.

Now if you move in with him you will be cleaning his pig-pile, cooking his meals, washing his laundry, but now it will be full time. That's no way to live. He's taking everything and giving nothing in return.

It's time to find somebody else to move in with and separate yourself from your BF. He will moan and groan because he is being thrown off the gravy train. Don't be side-tracked by him and don't listen to his promises to change.

This is your chance to make a change in your life. There are plenty of guys out there who are as shy as you and they are decent men. Ask around and you will find them. Go to church groups, poetry readings, or more adventurous activities if you like.

But definitely get rid of this guy! Good luck, George.

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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