I don't feel the spark.
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
So there is this guy that I have known for about 6 years. We are very good friends. He is also friends with an ex of mine that I am friends with to. He has no problem with the fact that I dated a friend of his. And the ex has no problems with me dating him. Well that is what they say. We had a thing a while ago (me and the new guy). I mean shared a few innocent kisses nothing more then that. Well recently over the past few months we all have been hanging out there is a group of us probably about 15 or so that are together just about every weekend. We have a lot of events coming up together and everyone gets along so well and we all have a blast together. Here is my problem. This guy we will call him Pete... he likes me and I care about the guy a lot but that spark is not there we have been "hooking up"/ dating for about a month and I feel like I am leading him on. I told him that I do not want to be in a relationship and that I think that it is better if we just stay friends considering I have an ex in the group that we hang out with and that I am busy and everything we both agreed to that, but then the next time we saw each other it was like the convo never even happened. He was all over me and then I ended up staying at his house and things happened... that is another problem he is very little in that area and I can't handle that... It just does nothing for me. This is an amazing guy that would do anything for me and is truly a great friend. However it is not there the spark that I want to feel... What should I do? Should I continue to let him wine and dine me and see if something develops? Should I try again to make it clear that we are just friends. We have been on one date and it was a double date with very close friends. Now he has asked me on another date this time just us and he said I we can go anywhere I want I suggested one of the most expensive restaurants around us. He had NO problem with that. He is something that I have never experienced before. Could it be that I am just scared that he is to nice compared to what I am used to? But I also do know that no matter what he does I DO NOT want a boyfriend. Should I go on the second date? Please help me! I do not want to ruin our friendship and I do not want the group to get divided or pick sides is something were to go wrong…
No spark... no long term relationship.
You could wait and see if a spark develops, but usually it either happens or it doesn't right away.
Stand up for what you feel, you will only hurt him and yourself if you hide your true feelings.
Good luck! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com