Visitor's Question from a 31-40 year old Female
Married for 17 years, three beautiful children. Husband loves me but is not "in love" with me...hasn't been since before last "make up" baby was conceived. I've been to counseling...for over 10 years. Therapist says one day I will realize that hitting my head against a brick wall is going to hurt and I will choose to stop. Husband won't go to therapy doesn't see a problem. We haven't had sex in seven years...not that I don't try!! He just isn't interested anymore. Thru fate, a guy I dated in high school happened to get ahold of me...he is married too but not happily. What started out as simple flirting back and forth has gotten to the point that I need to hear from him every day. He makes my heart soar. Don't know if we'll ever actually get to see each other...he's 1,000 miles away...but I have put in time, effort and too many tears in my "marriage" that I feel like I deserve to enjoy this attention from a beau from 20+ years ago...or am I wrong? And does wanting to have an affair make me as guilty as actually having one? Right now my marriage is nothing more than a room mate situation with children. We don't even sleep in the same room (we tell the children it's because of his snoring)...I'm so lonely for male attention...but I have NEVER really cheated...not yet. Please help! Any advice...and like I've said...I've been going to therapy for 10 years.
My advice is to tell your husband.
He is probably already having an affair after seven years of not having sex with you.
Tell him you are going to visit your ex for a weekend and then do it.
Listen to your therapist too. Remember your therapist is a licensed professional and I am simply an advice columnist.
Good luck! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com
Visitor Submitted Responses
Our RomanceClass visitors have chimed in with thoughts on this question and answer. Click on a link below to read what their solutions are!