cheated before wedding

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
i cheated on my fiance about 2 months ago and we are getting married in a few months. it was the worst thing i have ever done and i am extremely ashamed of myself for doing so. he is in the military and we were fighting a lot. i was weak and vulnerable because i wasn't sure if i could handle the military lifestyle. i went out with one of my girlfriends and her man and got extremely drunk. my friend, who had been in the military as well, showed up and i started talking to him about my situation hoping for advice that would help me and my fiance out. it was time to go home and my friend went home with her man and my guy friend walked me home. one thing led to another and things started to happen. in the middle of it i stopped but i still feel like the worst person in the world. i feel that he took advantage of the situation. i'm not trying to justify what i did in anyway shape or form. i was not thinking clearly and i made a very big mistake. i do not talk to this friend anymore nor do i drink anymore. i haven't told my fiance because i know it will break his heart. i can't do that to him. i know he has a right to know the truth and all but i want to protect him. after all was said and done, i knew and still know that my fiance is the one i want to be with and no one else. i was weak and made a horrible mistake and i don't know how to handle the situation. do i tell him and crush him completely? i feel as if i'd be punishing him for my wrongdoing. or, do i keep it to myself and punish myself in silence? Advice
This is a very difficult situation.

Each solution has its associated risks.

My advice is to discuss this with a professional counselor asap and figure out what to do. The choices you face are as plain as the nose on your face. You need some face-to-face discussion with a professional to get to the bottom of this.

I feel bad about not having more specific advice. One choice and you feel guilty and the other choice you risk humiliation.

Good luck! George

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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