almost 5 years and she wants to break up

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Male
I have been with a woman for 4 1/2 years. I am 26, she is 23.
We have a 2 1/2 year old son together. I also have a 6 year old daughter with another woman. We have been together for most of my daughter's life and she calls this woman Mommy. It is mutually OK with them. I take care of this woman. She doesn't work, lives in her own place that I pay bills for, and give her all the freedom in the world. I wont hold her back if she want to be around her friends, but she doesn't do anything anyway. Shes a bit of a home body.

I left for a weekend business expo in another town. She was supposed to go, but a family issue forced her to stay. During this 2 day period, she was hanging out with a friend that brought another male over. Myself being gone, i am totally unaware of the situation. I return to find her and this male alone, but not in an intimate situation. I believe her that she didn't do anything, but she did admit that it made her realize she wanted to see if there was anything out there for her. She got the "butterflies" and now wants more of that feeling. She talks to him online some since then, but he live 1000 miles away. I cannot get over her. Its been a week. I love her more than life itself. I want to marry her. I want to take care of her. I need her. She is a major part of my family. What can I do to get her back? Advice
It's only been a week.

Give this phase a month to see where she is going with it. Be sure she knows you still love her and want to marry her. Tell her you understand her need for some space (after all you've been together 4 1/2 years right during her development stage).

I've noticed that at age 21 many young women develop a yearning to discover themselves and need space to do it. She is a few years late but it's the same urge, I believe. Give her space but be very clear about your concern and ongoing commitment.

Good luck! George

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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