Am I going crazy or what I feeling is real
Visitor's Question from a 16-20 year old Female
Ok me and my boyfriend has been going out for three years but I've known him for four years. He as always had his female friends and I always had my male friends and we never had a problemm with that. The first time I thought that he was doing something was about a year and some months ago. He had this friend that he was just a little too close to. I would find phone bills showing that they would talk one o'clock in the morning and he would text her but when I ask him why he doesnt text me he says that it is a waste of time. One day I was going through his phone and I found a text message saying how much she miss him and she was calling him baby. So me and him got into a big fight and we broke up. I called the girl and asked her do they go together and she sad no. I few days later he told me the truth and said the he just like to talk to her and he would never call her again. I took him back and never thought of it again. So every thing is good and here we go again. He has this new friend now. She calls him all the time a send him text messages. I noticed when she calls him he won't pick up the phone, but if it's on of his friends he will chat the whole time. I also noticed that when I go through his phone he will get mad and take the phone from me and say if you want to go through my phone we can do it together. He will show me all his recent calls and his outgoing calls but would never go to the text messages. After we go through his phone he would go to the text messages ag delete them. One day when he was at my house he fell asleep and I took his phone and went in the text message and he had 22 messages from the same girl. I went through one and she said that she was so sorry and he need to call her. She was calling him baby and all of that kind of stuff. I took the phone number out his phone and put it in mine. So I keep my cool, when he woke up I asked him do all the girls in his phone know that he has a girl friend and he said yes. I walked him outside and acted like nothing was wrong with me. But the minute he left I called her and asked to she go with a boy name "****" and she said no that they just talk. I tell him all the time if you want to talk to someone else let me go and stop making look like a fool. He would sware up and down saying that he would never do that to me , he loves me and all that kind of stuff. He says if I want some one else why would I spend my money on you and take you to meet mt parents. He loves to throw up that he has my picture as his screen saver and has me has wifey in his phone. He has a good way of making me feel bad for acussing him and I would drop it. But I can't get over that text message.I think that he knows that she likes him and he is leading her on. I asked him if a boy talks to a girl on the phone that know that she likes him is that cheating and he said no that they are not having sex or kissing, sometimes a boy needs to be reminded that he is a good chance and its harmless fun. Is he cheating, what should I do about my problem. Should I tell him what I read in the text message and see what he says.
You two need to have another talk.
Make it gentle and understanding. Let him know that you looked at his text messages (but you are sorry and won't do it again.) Ask what the messages mean to him and why he does it. Tell him that it makes you worry when he does that and you will have to consider leaving him if he continues doing it.
Don't let this turn into a fight. Be calm, be thoughtful, be loving and kind.
Good luck! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com