Do I still have a chance with her?
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Male
Me and this woman has been dating for 4-5 years. In the beginning she cheated and I never let it go after years of her trying to prove herself to me and me treating her less than a woman, she gave up and started cheating. Knowing that I pushed her away and feeling partly responsible for what was happening, I kept giving her chances to try to work things out. Eventually she left me for another guy. It took me a while to get over her and to try to move on but as soon as I show signs of me moving on she wanted to come back to me and see if things could be fixed. The first 3 weeks were cool but then things started to go down hill again.We got into a huge fight because she was still talking to the guy she left me to be with and whom she left to come back to me. She then stated that she only wants to care about herself and doesnt want to be in a relationship with me or the other guy. Since then, which has been about a month, I still be telling her that I love her but she doesnt want to hear that. I ask for another chance but she makes statements like "we will never get back together" and "I dont love you and I am not in love with you anymore" but yet she tries to have small talk with me over the phone but it is never about us. She says that she wants to be my friend but nothing more yet she still have a picture of me and her when we was together on her desk at work.However, it is right next to a picture of her and the other dude she left me to be with. It seems that when we are friends we are getting along and everything is great is it just when we try to be in a relationship turns end up bad. I know that I am jealous and insecure and those are issues that I am trying to work on but I just love her and want to prove that I am sorry.Honestly in my heart I dont want to be with anyone else. No one else compares to her. I dont look at other people the way I look at her. Just hearing her voice gives me a joy and happiness that is relaxing and warm. It is no secret that i am still in love with her but I dont know if she is willing to give me a another chance she tells me no but something in her eyes tells my heart maybe. Could I be imagining things cause that is what I want or could I actually have a chance to get her back. Also note that we do have a child together so maybe that is why she wants to be friends. I dont know? I have been thinking about this night and day.
Take advantage of her offer to be friends.
Right now in her life she wants space and no committments. You want more but it isn't going to happen now. Let her know you want to be friends with her because you still love her and hope someday to be together again.
Then focus on being a great friend: be communicative, compassionate, and affectionate (compliments, hugs)
One day she may feel the need for you again. Then your wait will have been worthwhile.
Good luck! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com