When to make a move?
Visitor's Question from a 31-40 year old Male
First off, thank you for your wonderful site. It's been very helpful!
Here's my situation. I have had feelings for a while for this girl I have worked with for close to two years now. We are always joking around, flirting a little, joking with each other making each other laugh. But she also was married. So I kind of buried my feelings. I don't seek to be a homewrecker. I know her marriage has been bad for sometime. We've talked about it on a few occasions. Then just last week she let me know she officially ended her marriage. Now she's in the process of finding herself a new place to live on her own.
Then yesterday, a mutual friend we both work with revealed to me that this girl liked me and would be willing to out with me, but it's up to me. She also let me know she's known she's liked me for four months now. The girl gave our friend the go ahead to let me know. And then our friend let her know that I like her too. So it's all out on the table now.
Needless to say I am very happy she likes me. But I want to make sure the advice I have been given sounds correct to you. Our mutual friend and my cousin (also a girl) said to "just keep being friends with her right now. Wait until she is out on her own and has her post married life in some order. Then when the time is right, ask her out and see where it all goes. For the time being keep things as they have been. Joke with her, flirt with her as we always have done" I know the girl even told our friend she wants to go real slow with this, at least until she is out on her own.
Now it all sounds right to me. But I am also afraid of moving too slow. I know she has said she wants it to go slow until she is out on her own. But sometimes I know women have a tenancy to say the opposite of what they really want. I am afraid if I move too slow she will lose interst in me or somebody else will end up going out with her.
Please send me your thoughts on this. I really appriciate it.
So this started yesterday and you haven't even talked with her about it.
Her friend said she was willing to go out with you. That means right now if I follow the story.
You need to talk with your romantic interest and come to some agreement about how slow is slow. As you said, you don't want to go too slow. So ask her.
Ask her about whether she wants to go out, have phone calls, hang out. You won't know unless you ask.
Good luck! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com