puzzled ?Visitor's Question from a 31-40 year old Male
My g/f of 2 years just broke off our relationship. Went I met her she was ending a 11 year relationship with the father of her 3 children. He was very abusive (verbally) to her, demoralized her throughout the entire term of their relationship. She was living in his house financially supporting her & their children when he wanted to & she had to find a job to make up the difference.
She would tell me how his emotions have had an underlining control over her & she just wanted to stay together & be a family with him for the childrens sake ...clearly that did not happen.
I enter into her life....help her reconize she needs to reclaim herself personally & emotionally. I helped her re-establish her independency and self esteem.
We really hit it off....met the 3 children got along with them great enjoyed their company. I did the things a man should do....helped...supported....went on trips..etc.
During our relationship ,I noticed that she would become very aggressive verbally (personal attacking me ) I struck it up as her issues from her ex of 11 years. I would try to talk to her to see if I could help with her emotions & issues. She would just continue to attack me.
Then 2 days before our 2 year aniversary she says she needs space to find herself.She said she was not happy with herself need time to miss me. I respected that due to her past and gave her space she wanted. She said she would call me back.
3 weeks went by she called me & asked if she could catch up to talk. When we got together she said she wanted to break off the relationship because she wanted her independency back and not committed to anything but herself , establishing a career & her children.
She would not look me in the eye...just made more excuses
she said she wants to be "treated like a queen".SHE EVEN WENT AS FAR AS SAYING SHE WANTS HER CAKE & EAT IT TOO. There is no perfect relationship. She wanted me to keep the cell phone on for her which I gave to her so we could keep in touch with each other & wanted to still do things together with "no strings".
She asked me what I wanted out of the relationship...I wanted to start a family with her & the kids....she cried said good-bye & left.
I contacted her 3 days later to let her know that I respected her decision & said that I was moving on too. I also mentioned to her that I was going to turn off the cell phone I gave her (which I did ) She calls me back wanting to ask a question .I never returned her call.
Her best friends husband who I am friends with contacted me and mentioned that both of them cannot understand why she would just walk away.. He said it does not make sense.I was the best thing to happen to her & the kids He mentioned that she will "crash & burn " & a woman with 3 children will find themselves being played , used & abused and will be looking to reconcile.
I realize that at this time I need to move on...that's not to say that don't love her because I DO LOVE HER.
Do you think she will try to reconcile after what she feels she has lost ?
I think you have analyzed the situation very well.
My guess is that she will realize what she has lost and come back to you.
If you are also going to try to move along, reflect on the abusive treatment she gave you while you were together.
Good luck! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com
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