first love

Visitor's Question from a 31-40 year old Female
I have been married for 17 years and have had a lot of ups and downs. I recently got in contact with my first love on friends reunited. We live 200 miles apart now but he came to meet me and we ended up making love. I realised i was still attracted to me. He says he loves me and wants to build a future with me i think i love him and want to be with him but i dont know how to tell my husband he is a decent man but our love fell apart and we seem to be just friends now but i dont know how to tell him or if im making the mistake of my life Advice
Our first love is often a lasting love as you are experiencing.

While the glow of finding long-lost love is very enjoyable, one has to examine it seriously--which is what you are doing. Consider these both for you and your ex:

Children: what about the hurt and potential estrangement?

Family: same thing.

Friends: count on losing at least half your friends.

Finances: this is a big consideration. Think about it very hard.

Religion: is this a major concern for either of you?

Duration: are you absolutely positive that you and your ex will survive together? What a waste if you don't.

Finally: You say your husband and you have drifted apart. Isn't it time now, before making such a drastic decision, to go to marriage counselling? You may discover your marriage is worth saving and discover how to do it. Same goes for your ex. You are contemplating a life-changing decision and it should be worth while for everyone to at least think about it with a trained professional.

If it turns out to be divorce, at least you gave it a try.

Good luck! George

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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