in a fatal triangle

Visitor's Question from a 16-20 year old Male
thanks for reading this,

well im gonna keep it simple: my ex and i got together this last presidents day (Feb. 19) and well, we had uprotected sex. i just found out tonight that she's pregnant. now here's the interesting part: she told me that it is her current boyfriend's baby cuz she had sex with him feb.15, just 5 days before she got with me. if she's saying that then i would be nice for me since i wont have to support that kid, but something tells me that she may be wrong and could be mine, after all we also had sex. i know i shouldn't have done that but i cant go back in time, and the only way to know for sure is to wait and do DNA testing. she argues that its her bf cuz she really "loves him" (haha very funny but thats what she says, althought if it was true she wouldnt cheat on him) but u never know, but if its like that then im cool with it, but also i have to be a man about it and take responsibility. im not trying to say i want to get back with her, it was a once-in a while thing, after all it wasnt the 1st. time she cheated on her bf. any advice or comment on what to do or even think??? please and thanks again..... Advice
This is a tough situation.

It is admirable that you are willing to take responsibility if necessary. If you feel a strong paternal bond with this potential child you might demand a dna test be done and seek parental rights and responsibilities. Keep in mind that she appears to want to stay with her boyfriend and keep the baby.

You could be hit with a stiff support dollar amount for the next 18 years. This would interfere with potential college, career choices, marriage possibilities and life style due to a potentially high support cost.

If you or your parents can afford it, you might want to seek a lawyer's advice on this matter. Wait until she has decided to keep it and wait another two months to make sure the baby doesn't spontaneously abort. Then maybe see a lawyer.

Your other choice is to presume that the child is her BF's (whether it is or not) and let them deal with it. You would avoid the financial costs, but maybe suffer some parental thoughts.

I can't advise you because it is solely your choice. Seek as many opinions as you can from trusted people. This is a very important choice.

Good luck! George

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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