I don't understand her
Visitor's Question from a 16-20 year old Male
We've been split up since august last year after a relationship of nearly two years. We decided to be friends after we split up but it didnt work too well and she couldnt cope with it. After all the upset she managed to become my friend and move on. But because I hadnt dealt with the break up, later down the line in about october time i struggled to be just her friend and wanted her back. I went through lots of pain and upset, missing time from work etc.
Around christmas time she slept with a couple of people that i didnt like and we fell out. We ended up not speaking for a while. Mid way through january she foned me crying. She explained her parents were splitting up and she needed someone to talk to. I helped her out and comforted her mainly because i knew i still felt something for her.
We ended up getting close and sleeping with each other once. I realised after it happend i still wanted her back, but she said she still wasnt ready. But she ended up going for a drink with someone else. I think she is now seeing this man. We speak about once a week but it always seems really awkward now.
I dont know what is going on inside her head because she seems fine with her parents being separated now. She said back in january that she still has feelings for me and still loved me but didnt want to get back together. But now she is with someone else im confused. She said if we got back together she would feel too pressured to make things perfect again.
I really dont know what to do or say anymore. I know there are feelings still there between us. Should i try to keep in contact with her and be friend in the hope one day she changes her mind? Or shall i ignore her and hope she starts to think about me again like at christmas. Please help me and give me any ideas. Thanks
Sorry you are in this situation.
It's good that you are speaking once a week...don't try to make the conversations too long. Just find out how each other is doing which can be done in 15-30 mins. Don't be dramatic.
Your other idea also has its advantages but is a harder path to follow in my opinion. You can ignore her and if that doesn't work, then try to pick up a relationship after that.
It's a crap shoot either way.
Good luck! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com