I don't want to hurt her, but I don't feel the same way
Visitor's Question from a 16-20 year old Male
I've been talking to this girl for about a month now and she's really into me and she really wants to start a relationship, but I feel like I'm not ready because I don't have that kind of feelings for her...I'm attracted to her but I don't "love" her or have any feelings that would lead to that...We've been fooling around lately and I try my best not to have it lead to us being sexually intimate, but she makes it hard because she's the one who wants me to show her affection and she provokes me and so we end up getting sexually intimate anyways...after a couple times I tell her that I don't want us to have sex while we're not committed to each other and it would be wrong to do so, and we agreed upon that, but then the next day our urges takes over and we just end up having sex again, then I'd feel bad afterwards because I don't want to make it seem like I'm just using her for her body...I don't want to continue this, and I want to let her know that I don't feel the same way as she probably does about me...but how can I break to her after having done all the sexual things? I fear that it would make it seemed like I WAS using her...that was not my intentions at all but I allowed my urges to take control and I have no one else to blame but myself...I want to end this with her so that we don't end up doing those things again and making it seem like all I want is just her body...what should I do?
You will have to tell her that you no longer feel the same about her.
Tell her that your feelings have lessened and that you feel guilty that you might be using her for sex and that you want to stop for that reason too.
She should, after the initial shock, understand where you are coming from and be happy you told her.
Good luck! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com