Dating a Complete Jerk

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
I hope that some of you can give me advice on what went wrong with my last relationship.

Well here is the story ... I was dating a 23 year old for 6 months and it ended in June.

He was really nice to me in the beginning but then started to take me for granted. He started to say things to me like "You are lucky to have me. You won't find anyone better than me" and "There isn't a second guy like me around". He even said "I am glad I have a girlfriend because I spend less money".

He was really mean with money and even for Valentine's day I was the one who paid for the dinner for both of us (he did buy me underwear as a present). He used to save half of his pay check and hardly ever bought clothes. He even had some clothes with holes in them. He kept telling me not to bother buying make-up and clothes as I didn't need them.

He was selfish and often showed up late without an apology. Once I said to him that he should have called me to tell me he would be late and he told me to shut up as there were lots of other girls in the city we live in that he could date.

He never bought his mother anything for Mother's day even when I reminded him. Several times he cancelled dates with me just to go out with his friends. One whole weekend he went out partying with his friends and complained because I said to him that he should have at least invited me out one night with them and not leave me all alone all weekend.

In the 6 months we were together he never told me that he loved me? Do you think that is a bad sign? He told me that he thought I was pretty, nice and intelligent.

Also he wasn't very hygenic. He only took a shower ever second day and shaved every third day.

He left me because he said I annoyed him.

Do you think that he was a loser or do you think that it was my fault that the relationship ended? Do you think I could do much better?

I am 29 and losing hope of ever finding the right man. Advice
This guy pretty clearly was a complete jerk. He took advantage of you, took you for granted and didn't take good care of himself, either. I think you are very lucky to have gotten clear of this guy.

There are trillions of great guys out there, that really appreciate a friendly, decent woman. You need to make sure you are getting out where they can find you though!! If you are hiding at home, the chance of one of them appearing on your doorstep is slim.

I have tons of tips on the site about finding a great guy. I would also sign up for or another one of those sites - I have links to many of them on the site. I've used those myself at times and they are GREAT for finding guys in the area that match up well with what you are looking for.

-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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