Didn't want a relationship before, now really confused...
Visitor's Question from a 16-20 year old Male
I wrote in earlier about a quiet girl I met in college who was going to come with me to my fraternity valentine party. We started off by going shopping friday for gift exchange gifts and we had a good time out at the mall, laughing it up and stuff. We even went back to my room and hung out for a bit. It was a miracle I even got her to sing to some songs from my computer, she used to be in choir and even though it was so soft I could barely hear, her voice was amazing. I had invited her to go ice skating with me and a group of people later that night, but she decided against it because she said she had to be up early and was developing a blister on her heel.
So i called her Saturday to let her know when to be ready and when i went to pick her up, i got very tongue-tied. She looked amazing, but I couldn't tell her I was just kind of mezmerized for a moment (I usually feel like she's out of my league and am just amazed some times that she talks to me). So we head out to the party and because of all the snow not many people were there. So we decided to go to Steak N' Shake and had an awesome dinner in our nice fancy clothing. I paid for the dinner of course, and even though she offered to pay for her half of the meal, she didn't seem weirded out that I bought the meal like she had before. So we went back to the party and even though there was music, no one was dancing, they were just drinking and playing beer pong, but neither one of us drinks. So i kept asking her to dance, but she was shy and kept putting it off, especially since no one else was dancing, but I finally got her to dance. She said because of a clever comment I made trying to convince her it would be alright. Then after we were done slow dancing to that song, someone switched the music to something we couldnt very well dance to. So i left her for a moment to go change the music and she just kind of stood there, not talking, even though several of her sorority sisters were down there. When i came back, instead of going through the pleading like last time, I walked up behind her and grabbed her waist and just started dancing with her. She seemed to like this and that was how dancing went for us, each time I wanted to dance I would just take charge and place my hands on her sides. I even made a game where we pitched pick up lines back and forth to each other while we danced, until one of us couldn't come up with one and she as the loser had to pick the movie we watched that night. We talked and socialized and danced for a while, but everyone else was more focused on getting trashed so we left at about 11. When we got into my car, someone called her and she was kind of shady about who it was, at first she didn't know the number and didn't answer, but the second time they called she answered, and wouldn't tell them she was out with me, she told them she was "out with friends" and she was gonna call them back in about 27 and 1/2 minutes. When we got back to the dorm we went to our separate rooms and changed into normal clothes and she sent me a text saying she had to call her mom back (I assumed that's who it was that called), but after that we could watch a movie in her room. We watched Ocean's Eleven in her room, but mostly just talked, joking around and being fairly flirtatious with one another, but I couldn't read her body language. I wanted to put my arm around her or bring up the subject of us dating again, but I didn't want to ruin a perfectly good evening. After the movie was over i broke off the eveningm at about 2 because we had both had long days and someone told me I should always leave her wanting more (the worst thing was I wanted more). On my way out, she mentioned that she had a really good time tonight and I told her I did too, and there was an awkward couple of seconds where i paused by the door and she was still over by the couch, that i broke by saying good night and walking out. I haven't talked to her since, but I'm very confused right now. Everyone tells me that the I had a great time was the cue to give her a kiss, but there was too much distance and I hadn't even worked up the nerve to put my arm around her. My major questions are would it have been alright to bring up the subject of dating, why would she not tell her folks she was out with me, what body signs should i look for from her in the future, what should i do to keep up the contact between us cus i dont get a chance for just me and her to hang out during the week and im leaving this weekend to go home and the week after that is spring break and just any insight you could offer would be amazing. It seems like she likes me, but she doesn't make an effort to hang out with me like I do her, whether she's too shy or whatever I don't know
Yes you should have put your arm around her and kissed her.
Who is the shy one here? You or she?
Don't worry about her call to her mother...it sounds true to me.
Rather than looking for body signals, you should look at the surrounding atmosphere of where you are. You were in her room at 2 AM after having a wonderful evening together. That's enough clues to put your arm around her and give her a kiss.
Ask her if she wants to hang out after Spring Break. This will keep her thinking about you and that is a good thing.
Good luck! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com