Is not because how much you've hurt me, It's because how deep I love you.

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
Me and my ex have been together for 2 years, we broke up once 1 year ++ ago, the reason for him was he wanted to be alone. I was unhappy, but I still can accept the fact because it's just a few months relationship, so it's better to stop earlier. But after 2 weeks, i found out that I'm pregnant, so I called him. We both agree to do an abortion, then after the abortion we been together for 2 weeks and then he don't pick up my calls again, and our relationship just stop right there. At that time, I relly hate him, maybe the more I hate, the more I love him. I was heart broken at that time, so i went back to hometown for about 4 months.

After 4 months, it was my birthday, he suddenly text me, so I decided to meet him, and stupidly.. I go back with him again. I asked him why he wanna break up with me last time, he said he just want me to be good, to find a better guy than him. But this time, the relationship goes smoothly and strong, we were so close together (like a married couple). After 1 year, I've graduated and I found a job far from him, but he promise me he will come once after he finish his study. So i do my work and he do his studies, we meet once to twice a month.

After few months, ofcause there's some guys go after me, so I told him exactly what happened here and i promise him i will never go out with other guy. His reaction was so big, and he told me something that he never tell me before. He asked me to be with him to build our future, he said he will treasure me more if I am around to support him, He said he is more than enought to have both of us and he said he only wanna share the ups with me but not the down. I know him very well, he will never promise something that he cannot do, so our relationship get even stronger than ever before. We were so happy. But things go weird after few months, he started to suggest me to look for a better guy, but it's just a suggestion from him, so we didnt break up. Then 1 day, he really ask for a break in a phone conversation, he said he wanna be alone for awhile, he said he will call me back, i cry, but i agree with him and wait for his call. after 2 days, he called, he said he still want to be alone, and said something that he talked to his father, and his family got some problem, but he did not tell me what's going on, he said he will call me back too. 1 day later, I was so emotional and keep on calling him, he did not pick up my calls. So i decided to go back there and find him, but my family don't let me go back because they worried if I go back but he don't come out i will have no place to stay overnight (and it tooks me about 5 hours to travel back there). So i text him and said "we need to talk, if you really not going to see me, please give me a call." He never reply, so no choice for me, and I have to call his house phone (there's no called id, so he doesn't know it was me). He picked up the call, he was shock, we talked, I asked him to give me a reason, he said he miss his ex, he said "we have no future, if we continue that way for 5yrs or 10 yrs, the answer is still the same." He even say that he will find back his ex after he finish his studies and start working. But, his ex is at overseas, thousand miles away, and he only cntact with her once a year or less. He even said why he never bring me back to meet his family is because he still cannot forget his ex (but when we were together, he said he's still studying, and he is still using his parents money for this relationship). I was so mad and so sad, I don.t know how to describe my feeling, it's like I've been cheated for this 2 years, I wonder what the hell has went wrong... when we wanna hung up the phone, he told me his father don't really support him for this relationship cause he's still studying.

I really love this guy, I cry for don't know how many times alone. I dream of him everynight. I wanted to forget him, but I can't, the more i try to forget, the more I miss him. I asked my friend opinion, they said he doesn't worth it. It's been 5 weeks from the last conversation we had, we didn't contact each other at all. But i sent him a text msg and said "I know your are stress, you r right, we both need so space to think, when u r ready, give me a call, i'll always be there waiting for u". and also sent a valentine.s day card. That's all I can do, but he still never reply me. Frankly i dun wanna lose him, I love him so deeply, but i don.t know what should I do.
Just like valentine's day, i really wanna give him a call, but I don't know whther he likes or not, or i scare if he don't pick up how? if he pick up, what should i say? or should I go and find him and have a talk? What should I do to let him know I love him and wanna fix the problem we had. What should I do to rescure this relationship. And I wanna know the 'real' reason why he left me and I want to correct from it to help out the relationship.

I willing to do anything for him, Please give me some advice and suggestion. I already try my best to keep not contact with him, but I can't stand any longer, I really need him. I want to know the truth, I'm so blur, I look so strong but I'm very weak inside now. Lastly, I really truely in love with him. Advice
Ask him if it is ok for you to call him once a week for a 15 min chat about how you both are doing. No talk of relationship, be cheerful.

This will give him the space he needs and give you the contact you need.

Good luck! George

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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