31 year old guy dates 17 year old girls

Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Female
I need to know if it is normal for a 31 year old man to want to date a 17 year old girl who is just turning 18.. I mean, what could they possibly have in common..He also seems to only want to date young girls..Does he have some sort of insecurity issue..Or is it because he thinks he is just so good looking that he should have a young girlfriend, or is he afraid of commitment? I need some advice on this because it is driving me absolutely crazy!!Please help....thank you

RomanceClass.com Advice
This is the stuff of stories :) Here's how it works.

It's hard to really realize this when you are a teenager, but the human body goes through stages and it doesn't just keep getting "better and better" as it ages. It sort of seems that way when you're young - you keep getting bigger, you get stronger, you go through puberty and start getting more "adult looking". When you hit 17 through 21 you are pretty much at your peak as far as having the traits that most people find attractive - you have fresh youth, the innocence that hasn't been made cynical by the world, your skin is brand new and soft. But as age goes on, as much as adults tell you that it's great to grow up, age takes its toll. Your metabolism slows down. You gain fat even though you stay as active or eat the same amount. Your body wrinkles. Your various body parts sag. It's a normal part of life, but since most youngsters are never shown this (tv tends to make everyone look like a teenager) it can be sort of shocking when it happens to you.

So this guy went through his teenage years, and then went through his 20s. That whole time he thought of himself as "young" and "attractive" and so on. When you hit age 30, that's a pretty huge black mark. While it's exciting to hit 16 and 18 and 21 because you're "an adult" and can drink and such, it's often very SCARY to hit age 30. You're not a "fun young person" any more! You're old! You're a boring adult! You're a whole 10 years away from all those fun kids you used to associate yourself with! This is sometimes when a midlife crisis sets in for people. They don't WANT to be old. They don't WANT to dress in those stupid old people ways, they don't WANT to hang out with those cynical old people who sit around playing dominos. They want to be young! They want to be attractive!

So the classic ways that people deal with this is to 1) buy a sportscar and 2) start dating kids that have barely become legal (or in the case of a 17 year old, are NOT legal yet). It's a way to prove they are NOT old, it's a way to prove they are still part of the "young crowd". They are using that young person as a trophy, and usually they don't care anything about the actual kid at all. The more attractive the better, because the aim is to show what they are "able to get".

I would really stay far, far away from a 31 year old guy who is doing this. He is using those girls. If it's a friend of yours who is 17 that this guy is chasing, I would make sure her parents knew so they can take care of him. While that particular 17 year old might be mature enough to handle it, he could easily move on to a 16 year old who can NOT handle it and cause her serious emotional harm.

-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com

Visitor Submitted Responses
Our RomanceClass visitors have chimed in with thoughts on this question and answer. Click on a link below to read what their solutions are!

Makes them feel old

Add RomanceClass  to Twitter Add RomanceClass  to Facebook Add RomanceClass  to MySpace Add RomanceClass  to Del.icio.us Digg RomanceClass+ Add RomanceClass  to Yahoo My Web Add RomanceClass  to Google Bookmarks Add RomanceClass  to Stumbleupon Add RomanceClass  to Reddit

Speak Your Mind - Share your Thoughts on this Question!

All Advice in the category - General Dating

Browse our Answer Database
- Browse Answers by Question Category
- Browse Answers by Age Group
- Browse Answers by Date of Response

Please read through the advice on this site before you Submit your Own Question! We have thousands of pages of valuable advice that can immediately help you with your situation.