Help, I've messed up badly
Visitor's Question from a 16-20 year old Male
Ok, here's my story. A few months ago I became completely infatuated with a girl I work with. I couldn't make a move on her or anything though because she had a boyfriend. A few weeks ago though she broke up with her bf and I asked her out. We went out on a couple of dates and when I called to ask her out again she declined and said she didn't see our relationship going anywhere besides friends. However I am still infatuated and talk about her at work to a friend of mine and apparantly she found out. I talked to someone at work last night and apparantly this girl I dated is quote "a little frieked out," because I still like her and someone told her that I know everything about her. She also left work early one night because she was mad at me and my friend because she overheard us talking about her. When asked how her dates with me went she told someone that they weren't even dates and that she is afraid she gave me the wrong impression. However, I was clear from the beginning that I wanted a relationship with her so I don't know how she could have interpreted it any other way. I was just wondering if you had any idea why she would be telling people they weren't dates and also what I should do to try to win her over as a friend again. It's obvious she doesn't want a relationship with me but now our friendship appears to be in jeopardy, if not already beyond repair. Before I asked her out we would always talk at work and go on break together and she would laugh at all the funny stuff I do but now she rarely speaks to me and doesn't laugh at anything I do. I am so afraid she thinks I am a creep or something, which I am not and everyone who knows me knows that I am not. I was thinking of talking to her and trying to apologize but I don't know what I would say. Please help.
Apologizing would be good.
But don't make a big deal of it. Just casually say "Sorry things got strange between us, let just be friends, OK?"
And don't expect her to jump back into a joking relationship. She is upset with how you've been talking about her. It's going to take a while for her to feel comfortable with you again.
Take this as a lesson not to move too fast and not to talk behind a girl's back.
Good luck! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com