I Want Them Both
Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Female
me and my guy broke up about 7 months ago. but we were frineds since we were in the 3rd grade so we've always been close. so we dated for 5 months, we gave eachother our virginitys, and we were first loves. and we're frineds again. and things are great.
BUT i have a bf now, and the guy im with now is someone who i crushed on for 3 years. but him and my ex are so different! but i have feelings for both of them, and they both mean the world to me. Me and my ex fool around sometimes, but theres no way i can tell my bf cause i dont wanna lose him either. im basically screwed cause i want both of them. and i really dont know what to do.
One of the most important things you learn in life is that you have to make decisions, and you have to stand by your decisions. If you aren't able to stand by what you do, then nobody will ever believe you or trust you or care for you. It is one of the most important things you can do in life.
The world is full of a lot of choices. There are big guys, little guys, funny guys, smart guys, handsome guys. There are strong dark haired guys. There are slender blond guys. There are muscular red headed guys. There are guys that make you feel like a princess. There are guys that keep you laughing all night long.
You have to choose. You can't just cheat on every guy you meet because someone else fun comes along. You can't betray and lie to one guy because another guy seemed interesting. There will ALWAYS be guys that seem interesting. That's what temptation is all about. And YOUR role as someone who promised to be a girlfriend is to RESIST those temptations, because you SAID that the relationship was important to you.
If you really want to sleep with both guys, then be honest, tell them both, and just be a 'loose woman' who isn't really the girlfriend of either. Fooling around is a very serious medical thing you're doing - and you can easily give one of them a disease from the other. You should NEVER, EVER sleep with someone unless the other person knows about it. It is really wrong to sleep with another guy without telling the first guy.
But if you want to be a GIRLFRIEND, then you have to choose, and you have to stand by your choice. You can have the other guy as a friend. It's very healthy for a girl to have guy friends. But you can't SLEEP with him or betray your boyfriend. He deserves a girl he can trust, love and be honest with. If you can't be that, you shouldn't be with him.
-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com