I don't know what to do..Visitor's Question from a 16-20 year old Male
I split up with my girlfriend about 6 months ago, we were together for about 22 months. We split because we simply stopped getting on with each other and were spending too much time together. I've realised since we've been apart that i was too over bearing on her and the relationship was too intense. When we first split up we tried to remain friends, but she kept asking me to get back together. At the time i wasn't interested and i told her we can only be friends. We stopped talking for a while and in that period she accepted this and we became friends. But unfortunately i began to want her back again. I became very upset and depressed because she wouldn't take me back. I would call her and message her all the time. I eventually gave up and we tried to be friends.
During christmas time we fell out because she slept with a couple of people i didnt like. So i decided to get my own back with someone that would really hurt her. She didnt find out until recently when i told her. Recently we started talking again and becoming friends. She is going through a difficult time with her parents splitting up so she turned to me for someone to talk to. I happy obliged, we started to become close again, talking on the phone for hours with each other about our past and things. We then slept together, im not sure if it was right to do, but it happened.
Since then, things have felt very awkward and she says she doesnt want to be more than friends and is not ready to commit herself to someone. I don't know how to feel because since we slept together i've become attached again and i want her back. I really don't know what to do because i still love her and think a lot of her. I don't want to be friends if it will ruin our chances of being back together but i also don't want to cut her out of my life. This might mean she starts to forget about me and not care about me. I've tried various things to try and rekindle things but nothing seems to work. Help me please, im really confused and unhappy.
Your GF is struggling through her parent's divorce.
Her mind is focussed on that and she has little time to deal with other situations. Unfortunately, this means a relationship with you right now is probably not going to happen.
You should continue to be her friend and be there to listen to her problems and help her out. She will appreciate this and remember it later on when she is up to having a relationship. Don't spin your wheels trying to rekindle a fire now as it just troubles her.
Be positive and optimistic. This will help you and her both.
Good luck! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com
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