Doing Something Special for my Sunshine Girlfriend
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Male
I have made the transition from friends to bf/gf. I want to do something special for her. I have done flowers, balloons, make dinner, take her out to dinner, movies, etc. For Christmas I am taking her to the bahamas.
I have the overwhelming urge to do something for her now. I don't feel obligated or anything like that I just want to. I don't want to do something I have done many times before. Do you have any ideas for me maybe?? I am stumped.
Also neither of us has said I love you yet. I really want to say it but I am afraid. I don't want to scare her off. I really do love her. I am grouchy all day until I talk to or see her. She is like sunshine on a rainy day for me. I even wrote her a poem I haven't given her yet. Should I??
The most special thing you can do for her is something SHE really wants to do - not something out of a book of "1001 things to do for Women" :) You should know her pretty well by now - does she like certain types of artwork? Does she love the ocean? Does she dream of horseback riding? Does she like medieval festivals? Figure out just what it is that really appeals to her and then plan a special day centered around that activity.
It actually sounds like you're a bit obsessed with her :) That's very normal in the beginning "new love rush" stage of a relationship. But real, solid love isn't about being grouchy when she's away. It's about being happy with your life - and then being happy that she is a part of it. If you start turning your life into a "Good when she's there - bad when she's not" then it can have serious bad effects on the relationship ... because now if she's NOT there for some reason like she's late, you're grouchy. For things to work long term, you have to simply be HAPPY long term. You need to maintain your other friends, your interests, and have her a PART of your happy world.
-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com