Is taking a break right for me?
Visitor's Question from a 16-20 year old Female
Okay.. here goes nothing.. my boyfriend and i have been together for almost 3 years. i am only 20 years old. i feel like we've hit more than a rough patch in our relationship. There is barely any romance. He also has an issue with my weight, and i assure you that i am not obese, nor fat. just a bit over an average size girl. and i know i am not thin nor perfect, and i am okay with that. he always reminds me that i need to lose weight and always points out other pretty and thin ladies when we are either out or on tv. it just makes me feel terrible. another thing is... he never tells me he loves me. i always have to be the one to say it in order to get a reply. he says that he cant say it everyday because it loses meaning. but the point is, he never does and i dont expect it everyday. he never compliments me or tells me im pretty or beautiful. im always "cute". i feel like im being walked all over in this relationship and i am too scared to walk away from it, even if it is just for a short period of time. i know that taking a break may have its consequences... he can either enjoy it, meet someone else, or come back to me. and the negative ones outweigh the positive. i love him more than anything but i feel like my dignity is being lost within the relationship... HELP!! what to do? ? ? ?
You are stuck in a bad relationship because of your fear of what might happen if you split up. Ideally you would dump this guy since he is not a long term prospect for you.
But since you love him and want to make it work, you are going to have to stand on your own two feet and tell him a few things. First and foremost tell him to stop bugging you about your weight. Say that you are happy the way you are and that's the way it's going to stay. Don't put up with comments about other women, just tell him no. Secondly, tell him he has to tell you he loves you at least once a week and really put some feeling into it. Third tell him you want him to call you beautiful once in a while.
Don't let him walk over you any more or you will regret it for a long time.
Taking a break is risky. My advice is to try these other suggestions before deciding on taking a break.
Good luck! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com