Moving on after 5 years
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Male
My ex-girlfriend and I as of a few days ago have been going out for over 5 years and now it's over. In my case I was the dumpee, and I really don't know how to even start to get over this. I know I have to be strong and absorb myself in other things, but with her gone, I feel as if I am only functioning at 50%.
To be short, we met when I was 17 and she 16, and never experiencing any other real relationship before. We took things so slow, and it was over 3 years before we even considered having sex (on my wishes). We had previously brokin up once before for a little bit, when she needed time and space to find out who she was. I took her back but now a year later its happening all over again. We had such an amazing christmas, and with talks of marriage and homes and stuff, and then she tells me she needs to be alone, right out of the blue. I don't understand!. She says that she needs time to find out what she wants and basically wonders if theres more out there to a relationship than what we have had.
I need to know what to do, I told her I dont want her to call here, and she lives away so I wont see her for at least 4 months, but I crave her so much. How do I begin to move on when I cant envision myself with anyone other than her. What do I do, if she thinks down the road that she made a big mistake, do I take her back, or turn my head in the other direction and walk away. I dont want to be mean and I do feel that she still loves me, she said that I will always have a peice of her heart. I just don't see myself coming out of this with my head held high.
Thanks in advance for your advice.
It's too early for you to make real sense of this.
Although you went through it once before, it appears that this time hurts more. Many women experience the need to spread their wings about the time they turn 21. This could be part of what's happening.
My advice is to stay in contact with her and hope for the best. If you can be her best friend and you have a piece of her heart you still have hope.
At the same time, you should be looking for a new girl just in case. It will make you feel better and that's half the battle for you right now.
Good luck! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com