Phantom Love

Visitor's Question from a 51-60 year old Male
About 8 years ago I initiated an affair with a married co-worker, I was married too. While we never had sex, we did most things leading up to it.

After about 3 years, her husband found out by reading one of my e-mails to her. That put a quick end to the affair since she loved her husband and was committed to stay with him and their twin daughters.

For about the past five years I have longed for her and think of her every day. After several years of contact, we agreed to minimal contact so that her husband could overcome his feelings of lost trust. She has, more or less, told me to back off and let her life with her husband go on.

Now I try to keep my contact with her to once a year phone call.

My question is whether I should try to forget my love for her (I think of her at least three times a day) or whether I should continue to call her once a year (or more) in hopes of some future re-unitedment.

Thanks for your consideration. Advice
She obviously values her life with her husband, daughters, family, and

It is also clear that she still values you as a friend. Her willingness to accept your yearly calls makes that clear.

My advice is to continue calling her once a year and expressing your love.

As long as she accepts the calls and thoughts of love, you have some hope... however slim it may be.

Good luck! George

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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