How long do I take waiting to see if he is the one?
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
My problem is pretty general. I am 24 female and have been dating a 25 year old male for a little over a year now. Things haven't always been easy but we always talk out our problems and have a solid relationship. We have fun together, go on dates, have two different groups of friends that we hang out with equally, go on trips and have a really good intimate relationship.
My major problem is this: he has said time and time again that he NEVER wants to get married to ANYONE. I knew this at the beginning but didn't know that this relationship was going to get as serious as it is. He does want children, as do I, but does not want to be legally bound by marriage to anyone at anytime.
However, I on the other hand want a marriage. I want to be married and THEN have children. We haven't talked about having children or marriage but have discussed moving in together.
I don't know if I just keep dating him and having fun or do I break up with him because ultimately we are looking for different things from our relationship? I love him and think we have a strong connection on many levels, but I am not sure if I am just wasting my time since we have different ideals.
Unfortunately my advice is to dump him.
As you say, your goals are different than his. And, he has to change his goals for it to work.
If you think professional counselling might help you could go that route... but I think the odds are slim that he will budge.
Good luck! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com