Jealous of her girlfriend.

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
I am a 22 year old female from Arizona. I have feelings for my best friend, she is the first girl i have ever had feelings for, the only girl i have hooked up with and the only one thatknows that I am attracted to girls as well as guys. She has a girlfriend back home and still in high school. She has been with her for about a year. They talk on the phone every free minute she has and she always says how much she loves her and that she can see herself being with her forever. About a month ago my friend realized that I was attracted to her, she confronted me about it and told me she wanted to hook up with me. We talked about it and I asked her if she was sure that she wanted to do that. (she has cheated on her girlfriend before but with guys) She told me that she loves her to death but she would definitely hook up with me and that sometimes she just has that urge to. She said I am the only one she trusts at school so she said that is why she will hook up with me and that it is going to be a "friends with benefits" thing. We have hooked up a few times but its only when she wants to and I told her that is how it should be because she is the one in the relationship. It's very hard for me to just hold off my feelings until she's ready but I am willing to do that for those few times she wants to. I am just confused about her feelings. does she really love her girlfriend? does she have feelings for me? or is she just hooking up with me because I am there? Can people just hook up with others without having any feelings towards them? because I know I couldn't. What should I think of this situation? Should I do something different? I am very jealous of her girlfriend when I see them together and I don't know what to do. I try to hide my feelings for her, and hold them back but sometimes it is so hard.

Thank You.
Sarah Advice
"Friends with benefits" tells the story.

You are her friend/hook up and nothing more. She loves the girl in high school. Be happy she is honest with you so you know where you stand.

If you can deal with the situation then go ahead with it. If you can't deal with it then it is time to break it off.

Good luck! George

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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