We still love each other, why break up?
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Male
My girlfriend and I had been together for about a year when we broke up last month. She broke up with me and told me that it was because I did not stand up for her to my parents. My parents don't get along with my girlfriend. My parents are very overprotective and thought that she wasn't the "best" girl for me because she would not cater to my every need. I personally don't want someone like that because I believe a relationship should be 50% from the guy and 50% from the girl, but my parents are from the "older times" so they thought that I deserved that. My parents sort of verbally attacked her back in November, and I didn't stand up for my girlfriend very much, which I now realize after a month of being broken up, I should have stood up for her. She stayed with me even after that, but told me after we broke up that that was why she broke up with me. I would stand up for my girlfriend for any issue now to anyone, including my parents. I would even give up my life for her if it would save hers in any situation. My girlfriend and I had been friends for 3 years before we decided to start dating. We got pretty serious pretty quickly. I moved in with her back in May, and we decided to get a bigger, nicer apartment in September. I still live with her. We had talked about our futures together and about getting married some time after we both graduated from college in about 3 years. We had discussed our situation quite a bit while we were together. After the breakup, we both have had heart to heart conversations, and she revealed to me that we also had to work on communication between us. After the breakup, we both have confessed to each other that we love each other very much and want to be there for each other and be supportive of each other for the rest of our lives. I love this girl very much and she loves me just as much. She told me and one of my family members (my aunt) that she is very close to that she just needs some space and time right now. I'm just looking for what I should do now. I have been pretty depressed around her the past few weeks, but after reading this site, I now realize that I have to be happy and joyous around her. I'm looking for advice on getting her back and getting us back as a couple. Like I said, we still live together and sleep in the same bed. We still cuddle at night before bed, but the intimacy is just not there, i.e. no kissing, lack of affection. Any help would be greatly appreciated.
Hopefully you have told her that you will back her up in the future. And, in fact, you should talk with your parents and give them a pep talk on how important she is to you and that you do not want them to interfere.
Your parents are probably not so much concerned about how she will treat you as they are trying to get her under their thumb. Tell them you want an independent woman and that is what she is. Then tell your g/f what you told them.
Remain cheerful but let her know that you are being cheerful because you don't want to act depressed around her.
Since you both love each other my guess is that you two will work it out so long as you keep your parents muzzled.
Good luck! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com