How to break up when you are still in love.

Visitor's Question from a 31-40 year old Female
I hear people say don't break up unless you are truely out of love with a person. But me and my partner have endless love for eachother, but we argue endlessly as well. The only way I could see peace was to end the relationship. She still wants to work on it, but we have tried for 3 years and still end up arguing about nothing. Everything boils down to insecurity, jealousy, and miscommunication on both parts. When I try to be up front with her she blows up and we can't finish the converstaion. I shut down and then she gets nervous cause she thinks I'm hidding something. This cycle has cost us our relationship, yet we are still very much in love. What should we do??? We have already gone to the therapist and she even stormed out of there. She can't hold her own, yet she blames me, then I blame her. What in the world?Neither one of us has cheated, but we are still friends with our exs, but even when our exs aren't the issue we still fight over ghost! I really need help! Advice
Since you have had no luck with a therapist, don't expect too much from me.

One thing you could do is to go to the therapist by yourself. Perhaps you could learn how to fight fairly there (not saying that you are not fighting fairly, but that you as a couple aren't fighting fairly.)

Maybe you could schedule your fights and choose a topic to fight about. This way you would each have time to think about what you want to say and hopefully not stray away from the topic.

Good luck! George

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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