Flirting at a Friend's House

Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Female
one day i was on my friend's house. we called up people so they could come over.... a lot of them did. there was this first guy to came, "Bob". we started talkin. i know him coz his my one of our buddies...

i was exhausted bcoz i just got out of school... advance summer school and so is Bob ... he just got out of sumer school to but a different one .. i started to lay down on a bed.. he did too ... well at fisrt i ddnt mind ... so yeah we were sleeping or am i .. i dont know if i was or if he was there were a lot of guys who came over that day but i was in the room and so is Bob.

we were on the bed trying to get asleep. he started tounching my butt.. at first i moved his hand ... but he did it again and so i tried to ignore it instead... well then we slept like 30 min. and when we woke up.. all of our friends were staring at us... i got out of the bed and they stated laughin .. i asked my friend what'so funny she didnt tell me any way..

hours passed and i know what really happend... Bob stated to flirt with me a lot... i mean a lot.. like he would touch my hair.. he would touch my hands.. he wud even tickle me so bad that i turned so red..

my problem is i didnt know if he was just flirting with me or if he likes me.. can u halp me in this question.... i realy need to know and thanks for whatever help u could give me..... Advice
A guy wouldn't go through all that trouble for someone he didn't like! The real question is if he likes you as a person or if he just enjoys touching your body. I'm not trying to sound like a prude here but your body is YOU and you should never let other guys use you. Girls tend to get used a lot in their lives because they don't want to "make trouble" and it's easier to give in to fight - like you saw on the bed. He kept harassing you and it was easier to pretend to be asleep than to fight with him about it. But one of the most important things you learn in life is that nobody else is going to look out for you - not your parents or friends or teachers. YOU have to look out for you. And if you don't make a stand for yourself, you're going to get walked all over.

So yes if you like to flirt, that's fine. But don't let guys just manhandle you!! You deserve better than that. And you don't want your friends picking on you and treating you like dirt because you LET yourself get treated like dirt. It's like a snowball. If you let guys start using you, then people assume you want to be used, and then more guys use you, and it gets worse and worse.

So flirt with this guy, and have fun at parties. But PAY ATTENTION to what you want and if a guy pushes you, push back. Really. Otherwise you will really get hurt.

-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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